This drop changed how I think about the people above me. Before I thought that pushing back meant proving someone was wrong. After reading this I realized it is more about helping the people above me see how their decisions might be perceived by people.
A months ago I gave feedback to a community lead about an event announcement. Of saying the post was wrong I mentioned that some users might get confused by the wording and suggested a small change. The community lead ended up updating the post. Looking back that is probably the example I have of framing feedback correctly.
The section about collecting flags also stood out. One project I am involved in often ignores community feedback. The same questions get asked repeatedly. Rarely receive clear answers. I have not left yet because I still enjoy the community and want to see if things improve. It is definitely a red flag that I have started paying more attention to.
The anger versus tiredness part felt very real. There is a project I am still following that keeps delaying updates and missing expectations. I am probably still in the anger phase because I think they can improve. The tiredness version would be lowering my expectations stopping the investment and simply focusing on other opportunities while keeping an eye on it from a distance.
My biggest takeaway is that managing up is not about changing the people above me. Managing up is about communicating noticing patterns over time and knowing when to keep pushing versus when to adjust my expectations about the people, above me.